Another day of extremes. The children teach me so much about how I need to be as a person. I sat with the children at lunch, giggling and laughing, every single one of them offered me their food. Remember that this is coming from children who don’t eat at home. I was also surprised at how well they share with each other! I need to be more like them. We then walked through the village (almost stepped on a snake, I screamed like a little girl!) to deliver rice to a family in need. The unsponsored children are hurting so bad, my heart breaks for them. My biggest struggle right now is processing the fact that we are limited in being able to help these children. I am trying to work through the emotional process of knowing that we can’t help them all right now and some children won’t make it. Then, a very frail woman who has a daughter attending our school came to our office today to pay school fees “before she dies”. The hopelessness of this woman with HIV/AIDs gave me chills… I can’t think of a worse feeling than hopelessness. I have felt it to an extent at times in my life and it is the worst feeling in the world. Her daughter will become an orphan, when will this cruel, repetitive story stop?
Amidst it all were the sounds of laughter and singing from our beautiful children. Their joy and love is the hope I cling to each day. When I leave, they chase the car, wave and yell “Byeeee Mommy Jennyfur!” Anything I have gone through to be here is worth it just for those special moments each day of looking into the eyes of real life miracles.
The finale of the day, I attended an overnight prayer event at a church with dirt floors, wooden benches and hanging lightbulbs. People prayed from 9:00pm to 5:00am straight, no break! I’ve never seen anything like it. The hunger for God was unreal. It made me jealous. I want that.
I need Africa more than Africa needs me.